The Great Cheese Cover-up | ||
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Consequently, no word has ever been mentioned about it. Well, it's time that we all knew, don't you think? Please join our cause. We are accepting fully tax deductible donations to our nonprofit organization, Heavenly Cheese. I think you will find it a worthwhile organization. In the interest of the people of this country and of the world, we must take a stand on the cheese, even if we get our feet stuck in it and it starts to go bad after a while. So please, join me and other members of our fine organization. Let's not let non-domestic cheeses prevent us from attaining the truth. Please send your generous contribution to Cheese-it, It's the CIA. Address: 415 Bowery, New York, New York, 10007. Or visit our web site at www.cheeseup.org. There you fill find that we name names. Don't delay! And if you act now, you will get a slicer and dicer, absolutely free. | |
The moon has the consistency of Camembert | ||
We have all had our suspicions about how much our government is really telling us about what it knows. On the one hand you have the UFOs. On the other hand, you also have the question of what happened to all the unused, surplus blimps and dirigibles that the government must have secreted away because we never see them any more. What are they doing with them? I suspect they've been filled with Cheez-Wiz to be used for food in a national emergency. And who knows if they don't print a little extra money for themselves, not letting us in on the deal. I have also suspected for some time that my mailman may be an alien as he never seems to speak. | But nowhere is the cover up more scandalous than in the refusal by NASA to divulge the true makeup of the moon. Unbeknownst to almost everyone, the moon actually IS made of cheese. Not just any cheese, but a combination of gourmet cheeses such as Camembert, Jarlsberg, Brie and, regrettably, smelly Limburger. Why the cover up? Simply because they found no American Cheese there. It was considered Un-American. Talk circulated within the inner sanctums of the CIA, FBI, and PTA that this was quite possibly a communist plot to embarrass the United States at the height of its glory. |
Cell contents are, by default, aligned horizontally to the left, and vertically in the middle. In order to control the alignment of the contents of cells, use the ALIGN and VALIGN attributes with the TD or TR tags:
ALIGN: aligns cell contents horizontally. The default value is left. The optional values are center or right.
VALIGN: aligns cell contents vertically. The default is middle. The optional values are top or bottom.
You will note that I have set width sizes for all the cells and the top row (we set the table width previously). Height settings are left out because tables can usually do better without them.
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